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Obituary
by Jared Killeen
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reading time

1:28
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Leonard Arthur Finkelstein, legendary film producer of One Heck of a Lady (1956), Connecticut! (1961), Last Train to Heaven (1963), and the career-ending Who the Fuck Is Billy Wilder? (1965), died yesterday in his home in Los Angeles. He was 94.

 

Finkelstein was born in Milwaukee, WI, the son of a Jewish belt-maker. In 1931, at the age of sixteen, determined to become an actor, he moved to Hollywood. After bit roles in several low-budget comedy features—I Take This Man (1938), Hook, Line and Stinker (1940)—Finkelstein produced his first film, the WWI drama A Trench in Somme (1943). It was a smashing commercial success, and quickly helped Finkelstein becomes one of the most powerful producers in Hollywood.

 

In 1953 Finkelstein married the strabismic starlet Selma Sternfeld. That year he cast her in Goodbye, Mr. Crackerjack, a musical starring Bing Crosby’s nephew. When the project fell through (allegedly due to Sternfeld’s inability to walk in a straight line), Finkelstein divorced Selma and married her sister Slema. In 1955, Slema was struck by a Hollywood tour bus; and shortly thereafter, Finkelstein remarried Selma, who had found work as a bus driver for MGM.

 

In 1965, Finkelstein produced the notorious Who the Fuck Is Billy Wilder? The film, which starred a handful of aboriginal actors, was a commercial failure and inspired a flurry of lawsuits from Wilder and his estate. In his last public interview in 1987, Finkelstein insisted that he really had no idea who Billy Wilder was.

 

Leonard Finkelstein died of agnosia.   



Jared Killeen lives in NYC, where he works in publishing. When not frustrated by other peoples' writing, he is baffled by his own.
   
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Comments panel
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Katherine Brennan 5.31.2010
Mr. Killeen, A wicked and amusing twist on the standard Hollywood mogul epitaph. Bravo. Further bravo for sending me scurrying to my trusty Merriam Webster, pre-coffee I might add, to learn the meaning of "agnosia."
Katherine Brennan 5.31.2010
Mr. Killeen - A wicked and amusing twist on the standard Hollywood mogul epitaph. Bravo. Further bravo for sending me scurrying to my trusty Merriam Webster, pre-coffee I might add, to learn the meaning of "agnosia."
Les Peyton 6.17.2010
Unforgettable characters. Three days after reading this story, the memory of it still brings a smile and a chuckle. But, too, I may be partial. I have to say the beauty of a "strabismic starlet" is second only to one with a gap-toothed smile.
Corey Williams 6.17.2010
Ha ha! A murderous strabismic bus driver! Definitely well worth a second marriage proposal. Very funny, wry and intelligent. Nice work.
 
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