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Introducing Three Gag Gifts Missing from the Adult Section of the Cornucopia
by Jim Latham
estimated
reading time

2:00
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The Dribble Condom
The cooler older adult cousin of the comedy classic "Dribble Glass," the Dribble Condom brings the zany, unpredictable fun of liquid-based mishaps to the bedroom. Try drinking out of the other side of this guy! Imagine the knee-slapping good times that will ensue when your girlfriend(s) can't figure out why she(they) are pregnant! Also perfect for ladies looking for a way to trap that special someone into marriage. Leakage guaranteed. Packets of ten or boxes of twenty-four. ($12.00/$20.00 plus S/H)

(Spray-On) I Can't Believe It's Not Herpes!
A guaranteed laugh riot. Easy spray-on application allows you to pick just the right spot and intensity for the break out of your dreams. Imagine the look on her face when she thinks you might have given her herpes! Giggle yourself crazy while he confesses to his wife, convinced he gave it to her. Great for day-after-prom hilarity! All this fun without the inconvenient timing and itching of real herpes! Not to be used to imitate cold sores. Not funny if used on animals. Available in 12 and 24 ounce sizes. ($4.95/8.95 plus S/H) Coming soon: I Can't Believe It's Not Herpes Bath Gel.

Positive ResultsTM Testing Kit
Want to scare the crap out of that special someone? Positive ResultsTM gives a guaranteed "pregnant" result when held in the urine stream. An excellent way to get the attention your parents have been denying you, without the weight gain of pregnancy. For a double whammy, tell them later that you had an abortion! All you do is take the test‹we guarantee the result! ($7.95 plus S+H for three test kits) Products even funnier when used in combination. Order all three and receive 15% discount.

Disclaimer:
PervoJokes Inc. is not responsible for pregnancies, marriages, disease transmission, divorces, lawsuits, disownings, beatings, medical procedures, or excommunications resulting from use of these products. California residents add 8.5% sales tax. Nebraska residents ask yourselves why you live in Nebraska.



Jim Latham who considers himself the disowned literary heir of Nigel Tufnel, will soon be living in Canada. He hopes that the American dollar will stay strong, as he needs the savings account to last. If you know of any good Mexican restaurants or groceries in his n
   
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