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My Trip To The Supermarket After Reading James Frey's "A Million Little Pieces"
by Will Leitch
estimated
reading time

2:00
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I am hungry.

I am hungry and I walk into the store and they are having a sale on Pickles. I walk into the store and the Pickles are Vlasic and I do not like Vlasic Pickles. The Vlasic bird is begging me to take one of his Pickles but I do not want a Pickle. They are having a sale on Pickles. I do not want a Pickle. I am hungry.

I walk into the store and I see a man with a Tray. I see a man with a Tray who is giving out miniature hot dogs on a stick. I am hungry.

He walks up to me.

Would you like a weiner?

Yes.

You should take a napkin too.

Thank you.

The hot dog is good.

I want more. I want another.

I try to be nice.

I can only give you one hot dog. My Manager says so.

Sorry.

Sorry.

But I want another hot dog.

I try to be nice.

I want a hot dog. I try to be nice.

Please.

Please.

Please.

OK.

But don't tell my Manager.

Thank you.

I am still hungry.

But the hot dog man has suffered enough.

Thank you.

Hot dog man.

Thank you.

I am still hungry.

I am walking to the frozen foods section. A man is wearing an Apron smeared with the blood of Cattle. The Apron is bloody.

Can I help you?

The Apron is bloody. I am still hungry. I am still hungry and the Apron is bloody.

Yeah.

Do you have any ribeye?

Ribeye.

Yes. We have ribeye.

How much is it?

It is three dollars a half-pound.

The Apron is bloody.

It is three dollars a half-pound.

I am still hungry. I can feel my stomach contracting, pleading for Expansion. I am still hungry. I am still hungry. I am still hungry.

I am always hungry.

I'll take a pound.

He hands me the meat.

Thanks for coming in.

You're welcome.

Have a nice Day.

You too.

You too.

You too.



Will Leitch



Will Leitch
is an editor at BlackTable.com. His first book, Life as a Loser, will be released in December.




   
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P. H. Madore 5.6.2009
I think it's crazy Frey still gets attention.
 
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