 |
|
|
|
|
 |
Oh my god oh my god oh my god. She's so beautiful. I can't believe she invited me back to her place. I can't believe I'm sitting on her bed right now, taking off my shoes. I hope she doesn't notice how badly my feet stink. I shouldn't have worn wool socks today. Man, I'm so excited. I haven't had sex in years. I hope I don't premature ejaculate my pants; that'd be embarrassing.
Why's she taking so long in the bathroom? Maybe she's putting on lingerie. Maybe she's just constipated. Should I offer to run out and buy her some prune juice?
Oh, here she comes. Wow. She's naked and smiling. It's been a long time since a naked woman smiled at me. What should I do?
"What should I do?" I ask her. Her breasts look like torpedoes.
"Just relax," she says, and lowers to her knees in front of me.
She's unzipping my pants. I hope my genitals aren't too sweaty; I've been walking around all day. I hope she doesn't make fun of my incredibly small, uncircumcised penis.
"Wow, you're big," she says before swallowing my manhood in her mouth.
What does she mean by that? Is she being sarcastic? Is she making fun of me?
What if this woman's crazy, and bites my dick off?
Oh god oh god oh god... I came.
"I came," I say.
"I know," she says, rolling her eyes. Is she disappointed with me?
Ethan Ryan was a finalist in a Glimmer Train fiction contest and his work has been published on mcsweeneys.net and cracked.com. He also has a story forthcoming in Opium6. He lives in Brooklyn.
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|